Monday, October 30, 2006

We’ve Come A Long Way From Salem Baby

I read today about a witch in Germany who was ordered to refund the money she was paid for casting a spell. In short the spell was supposed to get the client's boyfriend back and the spell failed to work! My first thought was to register my protest against the blatant commercialism this case represents. But after thinking about it for a while (OK in reality about a second) I'm wondering if this has not always been the case with witches. And by witches I mean of course bad witches. Good witches would definitely do it pro bono, wouldn't they? But then I'm thinking - well witches have to make a living too don't they? I mean how are they supposed to pay the bills if they're doing everything for free!?

And that's when the final question comes pops into my head: What kind of witch would pay bills or have the need to be involved with money matters in the first place? Well not the kind I'd go to if I wanted results that's for sure. So I say here's another example proving the old principle of caveat emptor - let the buyer beware.

And now to the matter of the wise court that tried this case. They said that the defendants claim that she did not guarantee results was irrelevant because "a love ritual is not suited to influencing a person from a distance". I don't even know where to begin with that one. Based on this genius logic perhaps we should outlaw 1-800-send-roses and the whole concept of postcards to loved ones and while we're at it let's just shut down Hallmark. Let's censor the mail why don't we and make sure that no love letters get through because they're just irrelevant clutter taking up time and money - resources that could be put to better use catching witches and putting them on trial for consumer fraud.