Monday, December 11, 2006

Lunch Today

Had lunch today with Jon Voight.

Dinner Last Night

Last night my wife and I went out to dinner at a local restaurant. We got the bill and I paid with my credit card. When they brought the receipt back for me to sign I noticed that there was a place to write in additional moneys for the "tip". No problem, I thought to myself - the waiter was efficient (except for the plastic cups that leaked) and he deserves to make a living too. In general I like to leave more than expected because it doesn't cost me a lot of money but it sure makes a difference to those who are on the receiving end.

And then I noticed that a "gratuity" had already been charged! What to do - what to do? Maybe this particular restaurant has "gratuities" for the waiter and "tips" for the busboys? (For a minute I considered writing in "lucky lady in the 5th at Aqueduct")

So I called over the man who appeared to be the manager of the place and asked him about it. He said "the gratuity is for the waiter which is automatically added to the bill while the tip is what you give the waiter if you feel you got good service - after all the gratuity is only %15".

Maybe I should explain. I'm not upset about giving the waiter more than %15 - I do that quite often. What I am upset about is the doublespeak. A gratuity IS a tip - just call it one and the same thing - and if you can't trust us to give the standard %15 then why not go all the way and charge us a %20 gratuity? And %15 is not "just" %15. It's a serious piece of business and I believe it is an appropriate number to use as a basis for deciding a tip - I mean gratuity ;-)

Actually I'm not "upset" about this at all - just amused - but then I don't eat out often or at too many places (have to be Kosher of course) - so maybe you out there can tell me if this is standard practice elsewhere and maybe it's just my sheltered little life that's causing me to be commenting on this at all.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Fake Plastic Trees

I am driving to work today and passing a whole bunch of Fake Plastic Snowmen standing around in the cold. Poor things. Silent testimony to a world gone mad. Mad for attaching to something meaningful - like back when we were young playing in the snow with family and friends. But we don't do that anymore - too busy. Not to mention the whole global warming thing which threatens the whole concept of snow.

I think back to the time when, living in Mattersdorf (Ultra-Orthodox community in Jerusalem Israel), it blizzarded for a day and I went outside with my kids and we built a 7 foot Ultra-Orthodox snowman. All the other kids in the neighborhood stood around and watched and thought I was crazy because I was the only dad outside. The snow melted in less than 24 hours but the snowman stood in the yard with his black hat and carrot nose and long licorice payos (sidecurls) for a few weeks - silently laughing at all who passed by and wished that they had a snowman too.

People - listen up! I don't generally preach but it's important that you hear this: A Plastic Snowman is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord! Go out and build one when the snow comes - or don't but please don't buy in to the vacuous notion that a plastic replica is anything but a sad testimony to a big empty hole in your heart.

I could go on but I've got to go water the fake plastic tree in my office.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

New York Times Ruins My Day

Sometimes the brilliance of The New York Times reporting is staggering. In an article today about four prostitutes who were brutally murdered in Atlantic City two weeks ago was this gem:

"What has emerged in the days since the bodies were discovered in a spongy strip of land between the Black Horse Pike and the Atlantic City Expressway is that each of the four women came to Atlantic City to escape something: abusive relationships, relatives who objected to their drug habits, or street life in other cities considered to be more dangerous."

I'm not even sure where to begin with this one folks. Top reporters must have spent hours and hours digging around following all sorts of leads to come up with that sentence! It manages to overstate the obvious while understating the depth of the human tragedy involved - all at once.

The piece goes on to tell us about the lives of each of the four women each one more tragic than the next. What kind of a world do we live in - where we can be expected to read about things like this over breakfast - pass the butter please - and then go on and have a normal day at the office?